Alex Morgan sat in a crowded conference room, surrounded by a mix of academics from various universities. The Dutch Young Academies had called an emergency meeting to discuss the ongoing strikes against the education budget cuts. Hannah was seated beside them, looking unimpressed as Sander and an unfamiliar but equally self-assured assistant professor from biology debated the importance of social dynamics—an area neither of them had any expertise in.
"You see," the biologist declared, "striking is just like cellular signaling. If the right proteins don’t bind at the right time, nothing happens."
"Absolutely," Sander nodded sagely. "If we model it using a dynamic systems approach, we might uncover the emergent cooperation dynamics, much like in bacterial quorum sensing."
Hannah, exasperated, leaned over to Alex. "You know what's a great example of social dynamics? Me not throttling either of them right now."
Before the official host of the meeting could even begin, Sander cleared his throat and straightened his papers. "Right, let’s get started. Given my extensive experience with interdisciplinary cooperation, I suggest we structure this meeting according to—"
"Sander," the actual host, a historian from Rotterdam, interrupted. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I am the chair of this meeting."
Sander blinked, as if momentarily unsure how to proceed. "Of course. But if I may just lay out a framework—"
"No."
The discussion turned to the impact of strikes on students.
A well-meaning professor from Utrecht suggested, "We should strike in ways that don’t hurt students."
A few heads nodded in agreement. "They’re already dealing with so much uncertainty," another chimed in. "It would be irresponsible to disrupt their education further."
Just then, someone took a sip of the coffee provided for the meeting and immediately gagged. "This coffee is ice cold!"
"Oh, yeah," one of the hosts admitted sheepishly. "That was actually from yesterday. But don’t worry, we just made a fresh pot. It should be here in about twenty minutes."
There was a long pause. We should be strategic," someone added. "Perhaps we focus our strikes on things that won’t directly impact students."
That seemed to be the cue for a different professor to jump in. "Like canceling pointless meetings or refusing administrative tasks."
A murmuring of agreement rippled through the room. Several people nodded, and one even began taking notes as if they had just discovered an entirely new method of self-preservation.
Alex and Patel nearly fell out of their chairs. "That’s not a strike," Patel exclaimed. "That’s self-care!"
"A strike should disrupt!" Alex agreed. "If no one notices, what’s the point? We need chaos, confusion, existential dread in the administration!"
"Exactly!" Patel added. "Imagine entire faculties suddenly vanishing from email threads. Deans left to make decisions with no expert input. Committees realizing they have no one to review their strategic plans!"
"That’s just like apoptosis in multicellular organisms!" the assistant professor chimed in. "Cells sacrifice themselves, but the organism adapts. If we disappear, the system might just restructure itself without us."
"We should be worried about that!" someone from the law faculty piped up. "The government already seems to think we don’t do anything useful! If we stop, they might just cut more!"
"They’re cutting us anyway," Hannah pointed out. "Departments are already losing staff. Striking or not, we’re disappearing. At least if we disrupt, we show them what happens when we’re gone."
A historian at the back of the room, who had been silent until now, finally spoke. "The thing is, the effects of destroying universities won’t be visible immediately. It’ll take years—maybe even decades—before people realize what’s been lost. By then, it’s too late."
A hush fell over the room, a collective realization settling in. Hannah crossed her arms and exhaled sharply. "That’s exactly why we have to make them notice now."
"But if we strike too aggressively, we risk alienating the public," Sander countered. "We need to be careful—"
The door creaked open, and a frazzled PhD student rushed in, holding the fresh pot of coffee. "Here it is! Sorry, I got caught up reading about collective bargaining strategies and lost track of time."
The biologist perked up. "Now, that’s an interesting angle! Have we considered modeling this as an adaptive immune response? The system learns from previous exposure and negotiates better each time."
No one responded. The weight of the historian’s words, Hannah’s confrontation, and the creeping awareness of their own precarity hung over the room like an unshakable fog.
"Well," Alex finally muttered, "at least the Young Academy is here to help guide us through this crisis."
No one laughed.
Let's write another humorous short story starring Alex Morgan. The context: Unions have announced strikes against the budget cuts announced by the Dutch governmens for education. At numerous universities people have already been fired as a result of the budget cuts, and studies are disappearing. Place Alex in a meeting to discuss the strikes organized by the dutch young academies. Have Hannah there, as well as Patel, Chen, Sander. Also numerous others from different faculties and universities. Some persons discuss how students should not suffer as a result of the strikes. People agree and indicate that they should strike such that no-one notices, like cutting useless meetings and administration. Have Patel and Alex respond aghast; strikes should disrupt! Have a senior note they wonder whether they should strike at all, because then people will notice that nothing bad happens when academics stop working. Make up a funny ending to the story. Lace the story with pointless interactions between Sander and another arrogant researcher (female) about the importance of social dynamics while this is the expertise of Hannah and not of Sander or the arrogant female researcher. Have the coffee that was brought for the meeting cold, but then it turns out it actually was from the day before and they bring new coffee in late. Make it about four or five paragraphs.
Make it about 1.7 times as long; Make the self-assured professor an assistant professor, and make them from biology rather than economics, and add in comments about how cells work.; Have Sander try to take the lead of the meeting, while he is not the host of the meeting. Add some more interactions about the budget cuts and strikes; instead of pairwise markov random fields make it something more general like 'if we take a dynamics systems approach'; Spread out the discussion of not hurting students and make it separate from the suggestion of striking by canceling pointless meetings and refusing silly administrative tasks. ;Move the bit about the coffee earlier, right in between when they discuss how to not hurt students [This didn’t work well, and I edited it myself instead]
Have a historian conclude towards the end that people will only notice the effects of destroying universities after many years. Then have Hannah and Sander actually confront each other with tension. Then wrap up the story with lingering discomfort and existential dread for the academics. End with a comment about 'the young academy' (Note: for your reference, this is the young academy: https://www.dejongeakademie.nl/en/default.aspx)
I ended by cutting out the bit with the confrontation between Sander and Hannah.