Alex approached the department’s communal coffee machine, still debating whether they could survive another two hours of meetings on sheer statistical rigor alone or if caffeine was, in fact, a necessary coauthor. As they reached for a cup, a familiar voice intruded.
"Ah, Alex! Still keeping busy, I assume?"
It was him. Dr. Sander van Dijk, their old research master classmate turned professional thorn in their side. Sander was already dispensing coffee—boldly selecting the "extra strong" setting, as if compensating for something.
"Always," Alex said, forcing a tight smile.
Sander nodded sagely, the way people do when they aren't really listening. "Of course, of course. I was just telling my team about my latest preregistration initiative—transparency is so important, don’t you think?"
"Sure," Alex said, taking their coffee. "You’ve always been very committed to letting people know how committed you are to open science."
Sander chuckled as if Alex had paid him a genuine compliment. "Speaking of careers, I was looking at your recent publications. A bit… concise, aren’t they? But don't worry! One of my colleagues also had a relatively short CV because she made, you know, woman choices—but she still made associate professor!"
Alex took a slow sip of their coffee, bracing for impact. "Woman choices?"
"You know," Sander continued, "kids and all that." He waved a hand vaguely, as if "kids" were some obscure statistical artifact rather than actual human beings.
Alex’s expression remained neutral, but their voice was laced with dry amusement. "Interesting. I was under the impression that children generally required men to make some choices, too."
Sander blinked, then laughed a little too loudly. "Oh, well, sure, sure! But, you know, for men, it's different. We’re naturally bad at multitasking. Some of us can barely handle two R scripts at once!" He grinned, as if he’d just said something profoundly witty.
Alex resisted the urge to test whether their coffee cup could be used as a projectile.
Sander glanced at his watch. "Anyway, I have to run—important presentation. Early career researchers really need my insights. Good catching up!"
And with that, he was gone, leaving behind only the lingering scent of coffee and condescension.
Alex took another sip and muttered to themselves, "Open science, closed mind."
Have Alex have an uncomfortable encounter with another methodologist/statistician at the coffee machine. They are a male peer from a methodology department from another fictional university in the Netherlands. They did their research master methodology together and are competitive with each other. Alex and this person do not really like each other, but they act friendly. They do not really listen to what Alex has so say. During the conversation make this person 'comfort' Alex with their relatively short research cv by saying that a female colleague of theirs also has a short cv for making "woman choices" (with which they mean having children) and they still made associate professor. At the same time, have this person boast about their open science activities and their plans for writing grants. Have Alex make a dry retort that those choices seem to also involve men making choices. Have the other methodologist say something mildy stereotypical and uncomfortable about men as well. End it with the person leaving for providing an important presentation.
This is awesome. One tweak, just remove the part ", a woman, actually".
Awesome. Provide a title.